Today, while on my way to work, something a bit odd happened. Stopped at a stoplight, I happened to notice the gentleman next to me motioning for me to roll down my window. He was in his late 40's or early 50's and wearing a nice suit. He says "Excuse me, did you know your license are expired?" "No, I didn't", said I. "November, 2007" he replied.Interesting.
My first instinct was to be angry, but then I realized I honestly had not known my plates were expired. Being no stranger to having expired tags (My personal record is over 2 years), I am generally aware when they are expired. I'm quite sure if I had known, my reaction would have continued down the course of anger. I don't know if it's pride, arrogance or what, but I don't like it when people, strangers in particular, tell me something I already know. Sometimes it actually infuriates me.
But driving through the snow and slush this morning, the question hit me, why should my reaction be different based on my knowledge? Given that I was not aware of a problem, I was thankful for the man's kindness. Regardless of whether I knew it or not, the guy was trying to be helpful.
Or was he?
And that's where my personality really breaks down. What was this guys motive? Was he really just being nice? Why on earth was he looking at my license plate? I'm quite sure I have never, nor will I ever, notice that someone else's tags are expired. This guy wasn't even in the same lane as me, and we had just come to the first stoplight in town. Why did he care? A light out, or a flat tire, that's understandable; it's a safety issue. But expired tags? Who notices that?
So it comes back to anger, suspicion, arrogance, paranoia. Is it just me? Are most Americans inclined to act like this? I'm guessing so. What about the rest of the world?
Even if the guy's intentions weren't sincere, does it matter? Why can't I just be thankful that he pointed out something I needed to know? Why can't I just thank people for trying to help, even if they are pointing out something I already knew?
I'm totally the same way, it absolutely pisses me off when someone tells me something I don't know. I don't really think it is arrogance, but it's the whole idea that you aren't a child and don't need to be told things. Maybe that part is just me.
ReplyDeleteP.S. STOP POSTING FROM THE FUTURE!
How the hell can anyone not know when their plates are expired? In Canada they expire on your birthday every year and the government makes damn well sure you know by mailing the shit out of you.
ReplyDeleteWell, here they don't expire on a set date, but the gov DOES mail stuff out... I never received anything, which is why I didn't know.
ReplyDeleteIn Ohio they expire on your birthday as well. (They generally give you leeway to the end of the month.)
ReplyDeleteIronically, three days ago, January 31st, I looked at my mom frantically and just said "Oh god, it's January 31st!" and she just gave me that "good job, darling, I'm glad you can read a calendar." kind of motherly look.
Except we both have the same birthday, and our tags were expired.
Sorry, Chuck, I disagree. I need people to tell me shit all the time. I have my credit card company text me three days before my bill is due. I'm so bad. That's probably why it wouldn't bother me in the least if some dude told me my tags were expired. Thank you, World, for holding my hand. <3
(Sorry for the long post.)
I think it is odd that you would see this as angering. The man legitimately wanted to help you, and had no prior knowledge as per what your prior knowledge of the fact was. Perhaps you feel independent and therefore prideful of the fact that you don't need help. I'm not sure, but if I remember rightly, you are a Christian? Then you should be familiar with the seven deadly sins?
ReplyDeleteEither way, how was this courtesy conditional? What did he get out of it? Perhaps the satisfaction of knowing he may have prevented you from getting some unnecessary ticket or the like... but aside from anything to do with your own well being... what? Perhaps pride in his actions? Maybe that is what caused your pride to contradict it?
Either way, everything happens for a reason.
A) I'm a Christian, I'm not catholic. I don't believe in the "7 deadly sins", and even if I did, that doesn't mean I'm incapable of committing any of them.
ReplyDeleteB) You're misunderstanding what I meant by the title. His motives aren't conditional (well, perhpas). My classification of his motives are conditional; either courteous or whatever...
Well, even if you don't believe in the "Seven Deadly Sins" of the "Catholic" religion, the list is still widely regarded as being a basis of wrong action. (Even Ghandi provided a VERY similar list)
ReplyDeleteI never meant to say you aren't capable of committing those sins either, more or less that once you recognize the source of the emotion being one of those things, you should be able to come to terms with the situation as a whole.
The fact you blogged about it obviously shows that you did just that, but still, I figured I'd comment because I enjoyed the blog, k? k.
See, I would have been embarassed if that had happened to me. And to cover up the fact that I'm embarassed I would have gotten pissed. And being mad about it would prevent me from concentrating on the fact that I made such a stupid mistake and that there's somebody driving around town now who actually believes that I'm a moron and incapable of handling even a simple task like car registration.
ReplyDeleteSo you see, it's the fact that a complete stranger might have a momentary negative opinion about me that pisses me off. And you thought you had personality flaws. Pffft.
More posts please, I somehow find them therapeutic
ReplyDeleteSounds like you're inviting psychoanalysis of your reaction, but the short answer is that you're probably reading too much into an intended act of kindness.
ReplyDeleteNot sure where you live, but here driving with expired tags is a hefty fine. Would you have been equally annoyed if he'd pointed out you had a busted brake light or one of your tires was dangerously low?
Maybe he was busted for the same offense and empathized with you as someone in a potentially similar position.
Who knows. No harm no foul.