212 is the new 110

And winning the award in the category "Any moron can make a million dollars by coming up with a cheesy motivational ploy" is...

Sam Parker!

Congratulations Sam. You are a pot of boiling water. You were a guy that realized that the entire world works in gradiants, and not only that, you were able to exploit it to make a buck!

At 32 degrees, ice is just ice. But at 33 degrees it melts and becomes water! And water can suply 19% of the worlds electricity, plus it keeps us alive! Can your "steam" do THAT Mr. Parker? I mean, who uses steam engines anymore, really? I think the only use steam still has is making fat guys in white towels feel like they're doing something healthy while they just sit there. Go back to the boiling water stage and at least you can cook some food or something...

So anyway, here's to you, Sam Parker, your crappy 212movie.com site, and all the cheap swag you managed to sell to all those giant corporations. Congratulations, and may your success be as short lived as the fleeting vapor you exploited to gain it!

P.S. HOT WATER BURN BABY!!!

More Than A Memory

People say she's only in my head
It's gonna take time but I'll forget
They say I need to get on with my life
But they don't realize

Cause when you're dialin' six numbers just to hang up the phone
Drivin' cross town just to see if she's home
Wakin' a friend in the dead of the night
Just to hear him say it's gonna be alright
When you find the things to do not to fall asleep
Cause you know she'll be there in your dreams
That's when she's
More than a memory

Took a match to everything she ever wrote
Watched her words go up in smoke
Tore all her pictures off the wall
It ain't helpin me at all

Cause when you're talkin' out loud but nobody's there
You look like hell and you just don't care
Drinkin' more than you ever drank

Sinkin' down lower than you ever sank
When you find yourself fallin' down upon your knees
Prayin' to God
Beggin' him "Please"
That's when she's
More than a memory

She's more
She's more

Cause when you're dialin' her number just to hang up the phone
Drivin' across town just to see if she's home
Wakin' a friend in the dead of night
Just to hear him say it's gonna be alright
When you find the things to do not to fall asleep
Cause you know she's waiting in your dreams
That's when she's
More than a memory

People say she's only in my head
It's gonna take time but I'll forget

Note: This blog was by request. It has nothing to do with my current state of mind. :)

Hollowood, Shallowfornia

It's so frustrating. Can I blame hollywood? Am I just shallow, by my own fault? Some people are happy driving an ugly car, as long as it runs good. Some people are content living in a run-down house, as long as it keeps them warm. Once in a while, you see an ugly couple and you can tell they are truly happy. Why are my standards so high? I don't think I deserve anything any more than anyone else has, but still, when I see a cute girl I literally can't help but think "Why can't I have someone like that"? And it's not that beauty is the only thing I'm looking for, I want the whole package. Why do I (feel like I) require perfection? Why can't I just settle for a sweet, funny, smart girl that is by no means ugly, but I'm just not attracted to? And you know, I honestly believe that if I put effort into it, I could find that perfect girl. The twisted part is that I know I would constantly wonder why she didn't keep looking until she found that perfect guy too... I mean, I don't have poor self-esteem or anything, but I'm also not retarded. I'm not the best looking guy in the world.

But you know, I watch TV... and I watch for things that most people probably do not. I see it. I see the fat guys, the loser guys, the weird guys, I see them with the attractive girls. Does hollywood think it's really like it used to be? (I should point out, I'm talking about TV, not movies... perhaps referring to hollywood is misleading. Nobody in the movies is real.) Do they really think beautiful women still choose men based on who they think would be a good husband and a good father to their kids? In the real world, you see who the cute girls are really with. Bastards. It must be extremely difficult being a beautiful lady, and I'm not being sarcastic. On the one hand you have hollywood telling you to settle for the smart guy that makes good money, even if he's not great looking. Then on the other hand, you have society and hormones and whatever else, pressuring you to find someone equally as beautiful as you, even though you must know that he is going to be a completely unreliable, unobservant, insincere and unbelievable jerk.

So back to us mediocre guys and TV and false hope... On some level it does make me feel better that I see Doug Heffernan, from King of Queens with that cutie Carrie. But on another level it makes me sad for all the women watching... but maybe the problem is I'm assuming everyone is as shallow as me. Maybe there are some wonderful and gorgeous girls that don't need Brad Pitt's looks to fall in love. Maybe if you spend enough time around someone you stop seeing their physical flaws. Maybe I should stop being an idiot and just get out there and play the numbers. You don't go to Vegas and expect to win the first time you pull the lever. Why should I expect the first girl to be the emotional, intellectual and physical Jackpot I'm looking for? Sometimes even poor people win the lottery.

In many societies in the world arranged marriages are still acceptable. I believe even in Japan today, they are still trying to get used to men and women meeting, falling in love, and getting married without any basis on family, fortune or farmland... In some cultures, especially in the past, the men just choose who they want and the women have to live with it. I sometimes find myself wondering what that would have been like. My conclusion is always the same... I wouldn't be able to do it. To me, loving someone means that you want them to be happy above all else. I would never want a woman that was only with me because my family or I said that was the way it was going to be... but sometimes I'm selfish enough to wish that's the way it still was. There is a part of me that thinks I could make her love me.

Love is odd. It is more strange, more diverse and more confusing than this blog entry. Desire is consistent. "Chemistry" is unpredictable. Hopefully some day they will all align. But, if not, complacency is possible.

Time Is Relative

And much like many of my relatives... No, I'm not really going to go there.

But it is amazing that 2007 is gone. It makes sense that time would be relative. I mean, for a 1 day old baby, a day is a long time. It's a lifetime. But what is a day in the life of a 100 year old man? It's 1/36,500ths of a lifetime, that's what it is.

There are other factors that affect the flow of time. Lately time has been blurry for me. I feel like I haven't really had anything to look forward to. Anticipation is a huge factor in our perception of time. Work, sleep, video games, repeat. I've always relied on making other people happy to make me happy. It's becoming apparent that I may not have that option for the next couple of years. I need to be needed, and that may be in short quantity for a while. My Dad said something a few weeks ago that stuck with me. When asked if he was happy, he said he wasn't unhappy. I had never thought of it that way, but happiness isn't some diametric state. I have surely known happiness before, but I'm definitely content with simply not being unhappy.

However, through it all, God has had amazing timing. As one source of happiness has left me, another has always appeared. It seems that may be happening again. It's really too early to tell, but at the very least I have no problem with not being unhappy for a while until something does work out.

So here's to you and your 2008. May it be the least unhappy year you've ever had! :)